This past weekend, my dreams of becoming a roller derby hotshot were laid to rest, as I travelled up to Derby with friends to try out skating. Bearing in mind I can barely walk in flat shoes without falling on my arse, I somehow believed I would get to grips with skating, and would be swooshing round the rink gracefully in no time.
It didn’t quite work out like that. I strapped on the above boots, which belong to the ever lovely Triterrortops from Coventry City Derby Dolls (also known as my good friend Nikki) and shuffled over to the edge of the rink which was swarming with speeding children and a couple of old ladies who were much better at skating than I could ever be.
Pathetically, I managed one length of the rink. NOT EVEN A LAP. Nikki told me where I was going wrong – looking at my feet was sending me off balance and making me want to topple forward. Off the rink, I tried to skate whilst looking ahead, and I was relatively successful at that, but I became so self conscious that I couldn’t brave going back onto the rink. I am sure no one cared that there was a dorky 32 year woman stumbling around but I became convinced that I would fall and everyone would turn and point and laugh. This is despite the fact that people were falling all over the place without a care in the world. My fear of being embarrassed is far greater than my fear of breaking my butt.
So my derby career is over before it started. Shame really. I’ll stop trying to come up with a creative derby name.
The weekend fun continued into the next day after spending the night at the Triterrortops/Wrecks Merriment household, where some of us went into Coventry for a fried breakfast followed by a showing of Catching Fire. It was almost the opposite of the first time I saw it – an practically empty screen with a mostly silent crowd. But my reaction was still the same – almost uncontrollable sobbing. My BFF asked on the way home why I get so emotionally invested in films and I just don’t know. I guess I’m just an emotional nutcase. Needless to say, I loved the film as much on second viewing and CANNOT WAIT for the Blu-ray release.
10 thoughts on “Yeah, let’s celebrate mediocrity! That’s fantastic.”
I still need to pay you! Text me your bank details!
Otherwise I will post you an envelope of £8.70 in pennies, despite the fact it will be so heavy it will cost me more to post than the money contained within.
Ooo yeah, I forgot.
I don’t want pennies!
I thought that was a good threat. Nobody wants pennies.
Aww, I’m sad I missed out seeing your fall on your arse!
I would like to clarify that I didn’t fall over! But that was mainly due to the lack of skating I actually did.
I fell down the steps outside Ryan’s though. and that was in shoes
That… I expected.
I fell on my arse though, so you missed that! Mel tried to catch me. It didn’t work.
That sounds like it could have been a horrific accident if Mel was trying to catch you!
I fell and I’m disappointed at the lack of massive bruise that should have come up on my elbow.
In other news, I fixed the light outside so no more falling over up the steps.
Also, yay for finding the CCDD website with all the profiles on. 😀
You fell professionally. That’s a world of difference to how I would have fallen.
I googled your name to see if I spelt it correctly and ended up on the CCDD site. And then had a good read of everyone’s profiles.