untold blisses

To say this year has gone from bad to worse for me is wrong – it started off bad, got the worst it could ever get, and has stayed at a solid level of just awful.

Earlier this week, my phone stopped working.  I didn’t think I’d ever be one of those people who is lost without their phone, but I will admit that I cried when it happened, and cried on the phone to Google when getting the replacement.

I cried, because it’s full of text messages from my beloved Dad which I can never get back, the link I have to him, where I can scroll through my phone and pretend he’s still here.  Objectively, I know that the texts don’t matter – he was never that eloquent in SMS form and most of them are one word replies – but it still feels like a kick to the stomach to know that they’re gone.

And then the morning after my phone melodrama, I woke up to the news of that fool being elected into the White House.  And I cried again as I tried to get ready for work.  I sat in stunned silence at my desk as I did when we voted to leave the EU, and couldn’t comprehend how everyone was just carrying on as normal around me.

It feels like an utter rejection of all the values my parents have instilled in me.  They encouraged me to go to University, read, learn, improve myself.  Now no one trusts education, no one trusts the “experts”.  People who want to find out truths are looked down upon.  I read a quote from someone who was tired of having tolerance “forced” upon him.  That astonished me.  Why is tolerance seen as a bad thing all of a sudden?

A broken phone and nutcase president hasn’t been my worst week of 2016 but everything that’s happened this year has left me a bit unable to keep perspective so actually, it does feel like an utter disaster.

I hope I’ll get over it and stop feeling so angry at everything.  Mainly because I’m going to Florida in four months which I don’t think will be a good place to express my political rage…